the untold story....

una sa lahat- the person in the storysent me a message thru friendster(apparently, friends pa rin pala kamirito although hindi nya name at hindisya ung asa profile nung nagmessage sakin...) and he begged (begged kasiandaming please), please james, don'tname names please. please, im allowingyou to share this story but please,please.-yes, i won't mention names. i have nointention of telling everyone that wehad a past (alam ko namang WALA RINGmaniniwala sa akin eh and the onlyperson that knew of what actuallyhappened between us- i don't thinkhe's even here in the philippines, andeven if he's here, alam ko naman naidedeny nya). gusto ko lang namankasing ishare ang napakagandang storyna ito sa lahat..first year college..the first time i laid my eyes on him -it was not magical...he just stood there smiling (as if heknew everything that i don't) and i satthere wondering (why on earth am ihere...)and then days passed and we weren'teven aware of each other's existence(really? i have no idea..) until thatone afternoon when i saw him in thepalma hall comfort room as if waitingfor someone...'di ba taga kalai ka?''oo, ikaw din di ba? second floor?''oo.'i didn't know.he didn't know.we were both surprised- coz the liesthat we made, they actually weren'tenough.then we took the jeepney -the one thathas been waiting for us for the longesttime-and made our way to the jungle...we tried our luck with the caves thathouse the world's filthiest animals butthen, we were TOO YOUNG.. (yes, tooyoung and too horny i should say..) weended up getting a ticket on this verydark moviehouse showing this very weirdfilm (cesar montano's mananabas). butwe did not watch it.. we just talkedand laughed and made fun of ourselvesand our stories that we're just toostupid to make... and we foundourselves holding each other's hands..kissing each other's faces.. lips..chests.. and though we could barelysee, each other's navels...hehehe....and we started tasting eachother.. that was the first, theweirdest, and yet, that was the mostexplosive one... maybe we've waited forit long enough... and we were bothsixteen...but then, it didn't end there...all those times that i disappeared andi was nowhere to be found,i wasn't with anyone- but him..we had to keep everything a secret.because he has this 'image' to protect..iv even seen hin dating girls andflirting with them...yes, i may not be as 'manly' as hewas, but in bed, i am not as 'feminine'as he was...now that's bisexuality at its finest..that time, i never saw anyone buthim... although i might be chasingaround men and boys, (and it's quitefunny coz at one time, i told my friendsthat i liked him - they were like-yeah right)... but they didn't know...they couldn't and wouldn't understand...the 'first part of the affair' lastedfor two months. septembber - october2001. nagkahiwalay kami ng sembreak.after sembreak parang wala ngnangyari. pero this time, we knew thatwe both existed in each other'sworlds.. nagtuloy tuloy sya sapagiging 'straight acting', while ihad my share of other experiences.eto ung mga panahon na me iba akongnatitipuhan at alam ng lahat kung ganuako nababaliw sa bago kong crush noon.then, december came..nagkaroon kami ng isang matindingchristmas party sa kalai..after my performance, i went straightupstairs to change.. nakasalubong kosiya, and he said- HINDI KO NAGUSTUHANANG GINAWA MO.JANUARY 2002, there was this one timei was @mcdonald's philcoa, kumakain namag-isa sa 2nd floor. and then out ofnowhere, bigla siyang nagpakita na medala dalang dalawang large fries.umupo siya sa tapat ko, binigay ungisang fries, and he said 'advancehappy birthday'. tapos bumaba sya,sinundan ko, at nakita ko siya kasamaang barkada nya.. i just smiled atthem and pretended na hihingi lang akong catsup sa counter.. and thenumakyat ako ulit. mamya lang umakyatulit sya, and he said 'labas ulittayo. pero hindi ngaun, kasama kosina -----, text mo ko, bago na atanumber mo.', at kumuha pa siya ngfries at ang kapal pa ng mukha atkumuha pa ng catsup (na hiningi kokanina sa baba).magkikita sana kami sa birthday ko,(jan.21), pero hindi natuloy kasisyempre, me mga kaibigan naman ako nkasama eh...tinext na lang nya ako atbinati, nakasalubong ko rin sya sadorm at least, na-greet nya ko inperson.after ilang araw, he gave me a letter.the letter said tha he doesn't likeme, that he thought my fashionstatement was very weird. that he'drather see me bald than styling myhair in a very outlandish manner. thathe hates it when i follow guys aroundcampus, and telling everyone who ilike. and then he also said that hedoesn't like what he feels about me.he thinks he's falling in love.(hah! kahit panget ako di ba? nakitanyo na ba itsura ko nung first yrcollege?)January 27, 2002 naging kami.SUMMER OF 2002. wala na ako sa dorm...free na ako...lalo na nung second year, me sarili nakasi akong bahay, hehehe...